What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
