Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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