you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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