I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
jump out the window naked night went bad
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