Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize