Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just tell him i said nine months
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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