I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
