she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
two words...techno handjob
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
