do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
