dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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