New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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