There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
