Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
