Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
