sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I need moral support for this bender
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
