omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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