wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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