apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
