at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she peed on how many people?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
