That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
this hospital has no fireball
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
