let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize