What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
