She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
