This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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