you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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