bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Duck Duck Cougar?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
