Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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