Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
