Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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