It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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