Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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