Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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