...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
