you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
