it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
