My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
