tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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