grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
