I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
