Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
