Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
