the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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