I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
