hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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