u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
