Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
