Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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