you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
