so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
