Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
