You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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