how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
