I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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