Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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