Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I party with great urgency now.
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