so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
