you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
