Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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