you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
