we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's an acceptable place to lick
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
