there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
