I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize