Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
