whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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