I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
this is an emotional support booty call
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
