end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I want her autograph on my taint
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
