This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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