my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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