eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
