1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
