I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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