I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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