She is in my trunk
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
