It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
