You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
