and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
